What is a Codependent Relationship?

Your partner has done it again.

Out late and hasn’t called to let you know what’s going on. Meanwhile, you’re up on Google Location tracking down the exact location of your partner. Within the hour, you find ’em shooting the shit at Sub Zero or down at the Lumiere losing yet another round of blackjack, or turned all the way up at the Rustic Goat… AGAIN.

But, you get it. Between the long hours at work, the mortgage and kitchen remodel, and new car note, anybody would need a break. And some need more breaks than others.  Work hard. Play hard. Right?!

A codependent relationship leaves you forlorn.

It would be all right, but you notice that things are falling through the cracks. Missed payments and appointments; lies and shouting matches are getting in the way of life as usual. It is to the point where you don’t believe a single word your partner tells you. Yet, you hope that if you just say the right words, everything will be different. Unfortunately, it doesn’t. But, you continue to try. Different words. Being sweeter, kinder. Talking to your partner’s friends and family. A new hairstyle or outfit. If only you could get it right. Still the pattern remains…

Promises made. Promises broken. Apologies made. Forgiveness granted. Repeat.

As much as it pains you, you know it is time to get some help. You are in the midst of a codependent relationship.

Beloved, you are not alone. You are traveling down a well worn path.

Trust there is a way out even though it seems like the cycle is never ending.

Being in a codependent relationship is tricky and nerve wrecking. It keeps you from growing because it tethers you to unhealthy relationships. Some like to refer to it as relationship addiction. Either way, codependency leads you to support or allow behaviors that are detrimental to your well-being.

Codependency is defined as a dysfunctional relationship where you are looking to one person to fulfill most or all of your emotional needs.

Sometimes it happens and we aren’t even aware that it has happened. It’s one sided and emotionally damaging, sometimes even abusive. In the process, your ability to hold emotionally satisfying relationships dwindles which negatively impacts your quality of life.

Symptoms of Codependency include:

  • People pleasing

  • Poor Boundaries

  • Reactivity

  • Controlling Behavior

  • Caretaking

  • Obsessions

  • Denial

You may wonder how relationship addiction happens. The cause of codependency can be described as a cocktail of toxic communication patterns you’ve picked up from what society tells us about how men and women should behave and communication styles you’ve learned from your family of origin. Add to that a partner that meets your special blend of codependency with his/her own shot of narcissism and together you all have created the codependent relationship madness you either love to hate or hate to love.

Here’s the good news… Codependent Relationships are reversible.  

This is not the end for you or your love. To be honest, it will take hard work and most of all, time to free yourself from the chains of relationship addiction, but it is totally worth it. You are 100% worth the time, energy, and effort.

Here are some things you have to look forward to as we work together to overcome codependency:

  • More satisfying and supportive relationships

  • Better clarity of personal path

  • Better communication skills

  • Increased self esteem

Together we can help put an end to your codependent relationship and re-prioritize your self and family by breaking the unhealthy cycle with an individualized plan and action steps. We will journey together until you are grounded and centered in a healthy relationship. You deserve to start enjoying love again.